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Today's News:Man Opens Closet, Gets More Than Bargained ForSALEM, Massachussetts — When Gater Putney opened his closet door this morning he wasn't prepared for what he saw. "There I was, naked, right out of the shower. I opened up my closet to pull out a suit, and everything was covered in this odd green slime." Putney said he'd never seen anything like it. |
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A technician from exTerminex was called to the Putney home, and after testing the gook, said that it was "low-grade ectoplasm." It's from the Apparations, Inc. crew. I must have had a dozen calls from places they've infested." He held up a handful of the green slime. "This is their calling card. The cheapest stuff they can find." Janice, Putney's wife, was nonplussed. "I've seen worse," she said. "I been cleaning his drawers for nigh on twenty years now." But Putney was insistent that this was far from the norm. "No sir, this is nothing I'm responsible for. And when I find out who is responsible, they're going to get a piece of my mind — and my dry-cleaning bill!" Calls made by this reporter to Apparations, Inc., requesting the identity of the entity involved were not returned by press time. | Today's Weather:Temp — 45-50°F |